What people really mean in their dating profiles

Here at Dating Doc we spend a lot of time urging our readers to avoid cliches when writing their profiles.

Nothing turns us off quicker than ready-made phrases, which not only place the author squarely in the herd, saying nothing about them as an individual, but are often meaningless, too.

So what are the worst ones – and what the hell do they mean? (Editor’s note: this is just for fun – we don’t really think this is necessarily what they mean!)

“Seeking woman who is open minded” – seeking someone I can talk into swinging.

“In touch with my creative side” – can’t even change a fuse.

“Love to challenge perceptions” – annoying and argumentative.

“Tactile” – invades personal space.

“Taken the road less travelled” – been in prison for ten years.

“Curvaceous” – over to one of our readers, Ann, who suggested this one. “Curvaceous should mean ‘a nice rack’ but now it means fat. I’m genuinely curvaceous but if I put it in my profile people think I mean I’m overweight, which I’m not. This means I have to tick the “slim” box instead, but I’m not ultra-slim, and so any man who’s looking for that will be disappointed when we meet up. So the large women calling themselves curvaceous screw it up for everyone else. It’s ‘grade inflation’ – everyone gets an A in exams now, everyone’s a superstar.”

“I’ll fill this in later” – I just desperately want to ogle some fit profile pics.

“Interested in alternative therapies” – struck off by the General Medical Council.

“Free spirit” – never had a job.

“Been hurt many times” – clumsy.

“Unconventional” – doesn’t believe in underwear.

“Interested in social issues” – only reads Martina Cole novels.

“Vivacious” – toe-curlingly loud in public.

“Spiritual, not religious” – interested in the meaning of life, as long as it doesn’t encroach on Sunday mornings.

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